Sunday, November 30, 2008

I'm thankful it's OVER..

So. This is my whiny post. My friend told me I need to vent here. Feel free to skip this post. :) This IS my venting place though and it's why these are not funny happy posts. I need another blog for every day..LOL

Thanksgiving sucked. I think this is one of THE worst Thanksgivings I've ever had. Monday or Tuesday I was given an ultimatum. Either go to my SO's family's house for TG or consider myself not part of the family. IE: get out. Since my income is screwed up right now and I have a child to care for AND my sister is still living here AND I have no other place to go, I put up and shut up and went to his family's for TG. I wanted to stay here, at least part of the day, and go to my nieces house. Her first house, her first baby (which I still have not seen), their first TG in there new house with their new baby... you get the picture. But, no, I caved. I didn't stand up and fight for myself. I said "yes sir" and went to freakin' Alabama. I know being miserable was my own fault. I should have smiled more, joined in more...etc, etc, .. whatever. However I WAS MISERABLE. His Mother (and the rest of the family) don't appreciate food for anything more than "be thankful you have something to eat even if you don't like it" and "when I was a little girl we didn't celebrate Thanksgiving. It was just another day and you were thankful to get beans." OMFreakin'G if I hear that one more time I think I will absolutely instantaneously, spontaneously burst into flames.

Dinner consisted of...
A ham, tightly wrapped in Heavy Duty aluminum foil and more or less boiled until it was dead.
One turkey, cooked the same way. No seasonings. Just turkey and HD aluminum.
Green beans ..just green beans with lemon pepper. The way they are cooked every day.
Mac and cheese...from a box. She got fancy and bought Velveeta brand Mac & Cheese
Cole slaw... cabbage and mayonnaise. No seasoning.
Pink Salad. It is pink, has Cool Whip and a can of fruit cocktail. It tastes like Strawberry Quick.
Deviled eggs... egg yolks, mayonnaise.. stirred and stuffed back into the whites.
Dressing...made w/ ham juice poured in it..
Baked beans...from a doctoring...just heated up
Corn Salad a neighbor sent.. (tasty) canned corn, bell pepper, onion, egg white, mayo, s&p

boxed yellow cake w/ canned chocolate icing
boxed cheesecake mix w/ cherry pie topping
pecan pie.. home made, under cooked runny eggy mess

I'm sorry, and I probably AM sorry for complaining but people THIS IS NOT TG FOOD.

We assembled in the kitchen all but two standing in a loose circle around the table, Mother trying to goad her 2nd son and his new wife, which she doesn't like, into saying the blessing "since ya'll go to church" @@. He declined, his wife declined.. arguing ensued and Mother finally said a blessing. Everyone fixed plates and scattered. A side note, neither the brother or his wife said one single word to me even though I spoke to them. Whatever.

An hour later, everyone had eaten, brother and his wife had gone, Emily and Autumn were bored and fighting over toys, Mother had made Emily angry by taking toys from both of them and kept pushing Emily.. "what? you are mad at me? I'm tired! I don't want to hear fighting over toys. You aren't a baby." .. God I had to bite my tongue. Then Mother gets up and loudly declares "Everybody is mad at me and I don't care." Then she threw down a dish towel or something and went into the bathroom and proceeded to throw up or pretend to throw up.


The rest of the family leaves. This leaves me, Em, the sister and my SO. Sister starts fixing her hair, looking for make up... Mother asks where she is going and then gets mad again because she is going to spend time with some friend. Mother starts muttering under her breath how mad the daughter makes her yet she does nothing to stop her and actually enables her lifestyle.

The next day, I'm sitting in my house in my pj's still and SO comes in and says "pack up girls we are leaving." HUH? Excuse me.. the house is a mess, there is laundry to be done, the sink is full of dishes, we haven't put up the tree and you want to leave WHEN? I asked couldn't he go do what he needed, give me time to clean up, pack up and come back but noooooo that was too hard because he would have to back track to come back and get us. Whatever.. His trailer and truck are more important. We were gone within an hour. SO wanted to work on the trailer before it started raining because he was towing home a big old dump truck. I spent the next 8 (?) hours at the son's house either in the truck or sitting inside watching Sponge Bob screaming on the TV. (WAY too loud) I walked around outside. I played with Em on the swing. I played with the dog. My cat was in the truck in the carrier for almost the entire time. Pizza was finally ordered for dinner and that was good. I ate too much of it. The boys (kids) came in ..had shot a deer.... Needed another gun to kill it. :-\ It was a small buck, no antlers yet, just buds. The boys were just going to cut the tenderloin out . They had no idea how to gut it, cut it up, nothing. Came in the kitchen looking for a knife to cut it up with. Nothing big enough or sharp enough. @@ Finally they called someone that knew what the hell they were doing to cut the deer up. It had been dead over an hour so I don't know how good that meat is going to taste.

We finally left there around 9 pm.

We got home only by the Grace of God. Still a ways from home, we were coming down a hill and blew a tire on the trailer. Normally the road is only two lanes but we, luckily, had just come into where the truck lanes are because the hill is steep. We had three lanes to swerve around in. Thankfully, there was no traffic. I saw lights in front of us at the top of the hill but no cars were near us. You know the cartoons where the trailer is in front of the vehicle towing it.. and the vehicle is trying to catch up. That's what it was like, only scarier. It's a thousand wonders we didn't roll the truck and the trailer. It was fish-tailing and twisting badly. I felt the wheels come off the ground. Em started screaming. I lost the dog. She had been in my lap. I was holding the cat and he was now digging into my arm. I shushed Em and said out loud, "Dear God in Heaven..." and then I think I thought "protect us"...and the truck straightened out. We were able to make it up the other side of the hill to the gas station. The lights I saw coming down the hill belonged to two men inside the store. They said they saw us coming down the hill...sparks flying from the rim of the blown out tire.

Oh, and Em's only comment... "Dad, I can't find my CD's now!!" Goofy kid..had no idea we were almost killed.

Today, I've done nothing. We ended up with hot dogs for supper. I don't think SO even realizes how pissed off I am. I am not saying anything right now. I have to get some things in place in case he decides to kick me out. And that, is a whole 'nother can of worms. I'm not living like this. Living with the constant fear I'm going to displease him and he is going to tell me to leave. I'd rather just leave, on my own terms, with housing in place. kwim? I love him, but I'm not living with ultimatums and threats.

He is off one (or more) of his meds for depression. He quit them cold turkey. That's a no-no. I learned that the hard way. He says he can't get them until he gets insurance/drug coverage. He says it is my fault he has none because I didn't help him choose a Medicare plan a year ago. OK, whatever. Either get back on your meds or I call it quits. I'm not living like this. Some things in life you just have to bite the bullet and pay for.

OK Rant over for now.

If you got this far you are either a glutton for punishment or a true friend. :) Reward yourself if it's the latter.


Gail said...

My friend,I am so sorry.First of all,WHAT have I told you to say? Come on now,Ruta,bellow FUCK and follow it with YOU. I'm steaming mad for you just reading that.Sonofabitch.Second,have bat,will travel.A certain person needs a clue,and I am just the friend to give it to him. {{{{{{{{{Ruta}}}}}}}}}}} Hell,just line up those relatives and let me at em.{{{{{{{{{{{Ruta}}}}}}} DAMN !!!

Shirla said...

{{{{{{{Ruta}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry.